Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why do older siblings always hate younger siblings?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What questions would you ask to an AI?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

How can you determine if your therapist has crossed professional boundaries and become too emotionally invested in your relationship as a patient/client?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What can you do if you are a full-grown adult, but never experienced being a child?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

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I don’t watch or listen to advertising

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

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I can read

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

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I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I see through liars

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Are there any nude pictures of women with big tits?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I actually pay taxes

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

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I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t